February is Parent Leadership Month!
That means all month long we will be shining a spotlight on parents and caregivers who show up as leaders in their families and communities. With parents as empowered leaders, we can help create strong networks of support, raise thriving children, and build a brighter tomorrow.
Meet Jessica
Circle of Parents Senior Program Associate
Here at Illuminate Colorado, we have celebrated many of our staff as they have embarked on their journeys in parent leadership. In just the past two years, we have welcomed five little ones into the Illuminate family. The most recent addition, Josephine, arrived in September to our Circle of Parents Senior Program Associate, Jessica Keys.
Since September of 2020, Jessica has been an irreplaceable asset to the Circle of Parents team, supporting the management of data and dissemination of materials for the program. Now, she can add “Parent Leader” to her resume! Today, let’s hear from Jessica about what parent leadership means to her.
Parent Leadership and the Five Protective Factors
A core component of parent leadership is the Five Protective Factors– both incorporating them into your own life and empowering others to do the same. We sat down with Jessica to talk about where each Protective Factor shows up in her life, and what tips she has for other new parents starting their journey.
What Are the Five Protective Factors?
Parental
Resilience
The ability to manage stress from difficult life experiences with the support of family, friends, or the community.
Social
Connections
Positive and meaningful relationships that create a sense that you matter to others and belong to a community.
Knowledge of Parenting & Child Development
The ability to learn what to expect as children grow up and using the parenting approaches of your culture to meet their needs.
Social & Emotional Competence of Children
The ability to help children learn how to communicate clearly, recognize and regulate their emotions, establish and maintain relationships, and develop other important life skills.
Concrete Support
Having access to supports and services that build on a family’s strengths and meet their needs.
Parental Resilience
When asked what strategies she uses to manage stress and stay resilient throughout being a new parent, it was clear that Jessica has been incredibly mindful and proactive about her mental health. Jessica was open about the fact that she struggled with the “baby blues” and postpartum depression, and how she has utilized antidepressants to help her feel like herself again and to enjoy being a mother. She also found support and connection with her best friend who is a new parent – bonding over their similar journeys with postpartum depression and anxiety. Jessica also found therapy to be helpful, and emphasized that seeking help and medication are not normalized but can be incredible tools for new parents.
“No one really tells you that after you have a baby, you go through an identity crisis of trying to be you while also a mom.” – Jessica
Social Connections
When the conversation turned to her community and who she leaned on during times of stress, Jessica spoke about her mom. She explained that her mom helped her through all of the difficult times that no one tells you about before you have a baby. Jessica’s mom supported her through the difficult mental aspects of being a new mom as well as helping her to physically take care of the baby. For the first two weeks home from the hospital, Jessica’s mom was her hero.
Jessica also shared some advice for other new parents looking for connection and community. She explained that parents shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help, even when they feel pressure to be the “perfect” parent – that, in itself, can create anxiety and prevent parents from being there for their new baby. Whether parents talk to their pediatrician about how they’re feeling, join a Circle of Parents group, or find an online community, there are so many places where they can find connection. There are an abundance of people who have had similar experiences, and that connection is priceless for new parents.
For Black women especially, Jessica explained, there can be an expectation that you need to be strong and always caring for others, along with an added stigma of asking for support. Jessica wants all parents to know that there is a sense of power that comes with saying “I need help” and not only benefits your mental health, but your baby’s as well. Don’t hesitate to lean on your community– no matter what society has taught you.
“Without my community I don’t know how I could have lasted.” – Jessica
Knowledge of Parenting & Child Development
Here’s the thing about being a new parent– you’re always worried about your baby. Are they meeting milestones? How much tummy time is too much? What should I do if they won’t stop crying? The questions are endless. When we asked Jessica where she goes for trustworthy information about parenting and child development, she had a list. While her pediatrician, other parents, and google are all on her list, she emphasized one thing: every baby is different and is on their own journey. You can’t compare your baby to others, Jessica said, and every baby will be a little different as they grow. Jessica explained that what puts her mind at ease is focusing on areas where her baby is excelling, which helps her feel empowered as a parent.
“As a parent, you’re always going to question if you’re a good parent. I try to just go off of how my child is doing – If Josephine is doing well, then I am too.” – Jessica
Concrete Support
Next, we talked about the positive impact of knowing where to find community resources if a parent needs them. Jessica explained that she feels lucky to work at Illuminate because it has given her a foundation of knowledge of available resources. Jessica explained that being a new parent is already stressful enough without the added anxiety of economic, mental health, or safety struggles. Just knowing where to access support if a parent needs it can bring immediate relief. Jessica suggested places such as the pediatrician, programs like Circle of Parents, and online Facebook groups for new parents as all helpful places to start learning about the resources available in your community.
“Adding the stress of economic or social needs on top of everything else isn’t good for you as a mom. Being aware of supports can bring relief instantly.” – Jessica
Social and Emotional Competence of Children
When we moved on to discussing how Jessica is fostering social and emotional competence in her daughter, she explained that her own journey started with educating herself. Through therapy, Jessica learned how to regulate her own emotions and how to set boundaries. Without mastering these skills herself, how was she supposed to help her own child learn to do the same? As her daughter grows, Jessica is excited to help her to recognize her feelings and regulate them in a healthy way.
“Parents have our moments of frustration too. We need to learn how to manage our emotions and take a break when we need to.”
– Jessica
Thank you for joining us to learn about Jessica’s journey as a new parent leader!
We hope to see you back here all month long as we shine the spotlight on parent leaders across the state. Don’t forget to sign up for email updates!
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