Building Connections and Breaking Down Barriers for Parents in Recovery

Building Connections and Breaking Down Barriers for Parents in Recovery

September is National Recovery Month and this week we are shining a spotlight on one of Illuminate’s most impactful programs: Circle of Parents

Circle of Parents groups are led by parents for parents and provide a free, confidential, non-judgemental space where caregivers can discuss the successes and challenges of raising children. 

In addition to general Circle of Parents groups, there are specialty groups offered across Colorado– including Circles for parents in recovery. 

Recently, we had the chance to speak with Circle of Parents Program Manager Toni Miner about Circle of Parents in Recovery and how she has seen it impact participants’ lives. Let’s talk about what we learned!

Social Connections are Essential to Recovery

 

The purpose of Circle of Parents in Recovery groups is to break down barriers and reduce shame for parents recovering from substance use disorders. Building community and social connections are critical components of recovery, and Circle of Parents provides a space where parents can do just that. 

Group discussions center around recovery and breaking down the associated stigma. Parents with substance use disorders face unique challenges, and Circle of Parents in Recovery groups give parents the hope that they might not find in other spaces.

Circle groups talk about the importance of social connections, how long (or if) group members have been sober, and the challenges specific to parenting with a substance use disorder. Toni explained how helpful it is for parents to discuss challenges with people who have been in similar situations and can relate to their experiences. That way parents don’t feel judged, but instead are building the connections that are so important to recovery.

Lived Experience is an Invaluable Resource

Group members are able to support each other at every stage of their recovery and parenting journeys. Toni has known group members for several years who are now able to encourage new members who are struggling with the beginning stages of recovery.

Some parents first join Circle of Parents when their children have been removed from the home. Toni has seen many of these parents progress so far in their recovery and parenting journeys that they can now share their story with new members who are dealing with similar situations and serve as examples of why not to give up.

The caregivers in Circle of Parents in Recovery groups are the experts on recovery resources in Colorado. Group members are able to recommend community resources for anything another parent might need, from sober living resources to detox support.

“The parents who come to these groups are the resource kings and queens.”

– Toni Miner, Circle of Parents Program Manager

Parents don’t need to be in active recovery to join a Circle. All caregivers are welcomed with open arms regardless of whether or not they are in recovery. Toni explained that parents in her group would rather a parent who is dealing with substance use join the group and receive the support they need than to see them turned away.

The Opposite of Addiction is Connection

When parents have the connections that are necessary for recovery, they are able to reach their full potential. By coming to Circle of Parents in Recovery meetings, Toni has seen parents gain self-esteem, start to believe in themselves, and become leaders in their families and communities. Parents truly become strong advocates for themselves and their children. 

Circle of Parents in Recovery groups have become genuine communities for parents where they can build relationships with their peers and extend and nurture friendships outside of meetings. Toni has even seen how the group members’ children connect with each other and are excited to play together each week. 

Toni’s favorite part about facilitating Circle of Parents in Recovery groups is watching members grow as individuals and as parents.

“I see parents gain self-esteem and really start to believe in themselves and become leaders in their own families and communities.”

– Toni Miner, Circle of Parents Program Manager

There is a Circle of Parents group for everyone.

Choose from Spanish-Speaking, Fatherhood, Parents in Recovery, Parents of Children with Special Needs, General Parenting groups, and more. 

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Prevention Partnership Spotlight: Colorado State University Kappa Delta Phi Epsilon Chapter

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Summer can be hard for parents. If you’ve taken care of a child, you might know that it can take a lot of energy and ideas to keep up with them. When kids are out of school for the summer, this can increase the load on parents and caregivers, especially if they aren’t able to find or afford child care or summer camps.

One of the ways that Illuminate Colorado strengthens parents and caregivers is by supporting Circle of Parents® groups across Colorado to provide a safe, supportive, confidential, non-judgmental environment where parents can openly discuss their successes and challenges.

Recently, thanks to our relationship with Kappa Delta, Illuminate Colorado was able to provide another tangible way to support Circle of Parents groups across the state–packing summer survival kits.

On April 16, fifteen Kappa Delta sisters from the Phi Epsilon Chapter at Colorado State University volunteered to help Illuminate staff pack summer survival kits for Circle of Parents families. They packed 200 bags in just half an hour!

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Our History with Kappa Delta

Prevent Child Abuse America has been a national philanthropy supported by thousands of Kappa Delta sisters for over 41 years. As the Colorado Chapter of Prevent Child Abuse America, Illuminate Colorado often partners with our local Kappa Delta collegiate and alumni chapters.

To date, Kappa Delta has raised over $33 million through collegiate and alumnae Shamrock events across the country for the prevention of child abuse and to build a better world and community where children can grow up confidently in safe and thriving communities.

The kits included items for both caregivers and kids. Caregivers can use items like a journal and pen or affirmation cards to practice their own self-care, but the kits also have fun items for kids to use during the summer, like sidewalk chalk, bubbles, and coloring supplies.

Now that the kits are packed, they will be distributed to Circle of Parents groups across the state. These kits will provide tangible support for families during a time that can be challenging for parents and caregivers. Thank you to the Phi Epsilon Chapter for helping us strengthen families in Colorado!

Before, During, and After!

Volunteer with Illuminate


?

Join our list of volunteers and we’ll let you know when opportunities are available.

Email Mike Robbins at mrobbins@illuminatecolorado.org to be added to the list.

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Recognizing Outstanding Parent Leads During Parent Leadership Month

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Earlier this month, Illuminate kicked off Parent Leadership Month by talking about what parent leadership is, and why parent leaders are integral to strong communities. This week, we look to recognize outstanding Parent Leads from Circle of Parents groups across Colorado. Join us!

All too often, parents feel inadequate or unsure of themselves as leaders in their family and community.

That is why it is so important to recognize when parents make strides to grow their leadership skills, which is no small feat. This year, for the first time, Circle of Parents is recognizing outstanding Parent Leads from groups throughout Colorado. These Parent Leads, nominated by group facilitators, have consistently contributed to their group, displayed strong boundaries, provided support to the functioning of their group, and built strong and supportive relationships with other group members. These parents not only contribute to the amazing communities that Circle of Parents groups are known for, but also help other parents to build their leadership skills, leading to stronger families and stronger communities. 

Meet the Parent Leads Being Recognized this Year:

Dawn Heller

Jeffco and Statewide Circle of Parents Groups

Allie Bettin Ruvalcaba

Family & Intercultural Resource Center Circle of Parents

Amanda O’Connor

Piñon Project Circle of Parents

Jim Biggs

Piñon Project Circle of Parents

Lupita Cardoza

Sister Carmen Circle of Parents

Heidi Rondon

Statewide Circle of Parents

Heidi Ayammel

Shiloh House Circle of Parents

Want to Learn More About Becoming A Parent Lead?

Contact Toni Miner

Circle of Parents Program Manager

tminer@illuminatecolorado.org

Interested in Joining A Group?

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February is Parent Leadership Month! Parent leadership is a critical way for families to build upon their strengths, which leads to strong communities and healthy children. Circle of Parents groups–support groups that provide a community where caregivers support each other–are places where parent leaders shine. 

This month, Illuminate will be diving into why parent leaders are integral to strong communities, how parents can grow into leadership roles, and the importance of recognizing and celebrating the work of parent leaders. Join us!

What is a Parent Leader?

Being a leader can look different for every parent. Toni Miner, Circle of Parents program manager at Illuminate Colorado, explained that parent leaders might start out by volunteering at their child’s school, joining a parent-teacher association, or providing support to other parents. Parents who take on leadership roles within a Circle of Parents group, referred to as Parent Leads, take on the responsibility of helping to lead the group and facilitate a productive and supportive discussion. Parent Leads have lived experiences and perspectives that allow them not only to authentically relate to their peers, but also to provide structure and support to group discussions.

Meet Toni

Circle of Parents Program Manager

Becoming a Parent Lead

Every parent’s journey in becoming a leader for their family and community looks different, and we should honor the experiences of parents who come from all backgrounds. Parents who are on their journey to becoming a Parent Lead for their Circle of Parents group, Miner said, might contribute by being the timekeeper for meetings, greeting other parents as they arrive, contributing to group meals, or helping to clean up after meetings. Any and all acts of giving time and partnership help to build important parent leadership skills. 

When identifying potential Parent Leads, Miner explained that she supports parents in being open to learning, as well as understanding how to maintain healthy boundaries and relationships with other group members. These are important skills in being a Parent Lead because they play an essential role in setting the foundation for how the group is run.

After building their leadership skills, parents can become official Parent Leads by completing a facilitator training, where they learn about relationships based on equality and respect, what it means to practice shared leadership in a Circle of Parents setting, and how the program model utilizes the five protective factors of child maltreatment prevention. 

Learn more about the Circle of Parents model and the five protective factors here.

Parent Leads are integral to the Circle of Parents model.

They are peers of those in their group, support others in developing leadership skills within their families and communities, and contribute an authentic voice to group discussions. The work of Parent Leads helps to strengthen Colorado families and communities, resulting in brighter childhoods for all children. This month, we place a special emphasis on and celebrate their contributions. 

Interested in recognizing the parent leaders in your community?

Check out the Children’s Trust Fund Alliance’s resources for requesting, supporting, or accepting a proclamation of February as Parent Leadership Month.

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“We need to get every parent involved in this.”

“We need to get every parent involved in this.”

Judge Meinster Speaks to the Effectiveness of Circle of Parents

We recently had the chance to speak with Judge Ann Meinster of Jefferson County, a major proponent of and advocate for the Circle of Parents program. Judge Meinster presides over the Family Integrated Treatment (FIT) court, a voluntary track that families can opt into when involved in the child welfare system. Having witnessed time and time again how peer support is critical to parents’ wellbeing, Judge Meinster often refers families to Circle of Parents. 

Circle of Parents provides a friendly, supportive community led by parents and other caregivers. Participants are invited to share support, tips or advice in a safe space with those in their communities. The Circle of Parents model is evidence-informed and has been shown to improve resiliency in children by increasing the protective factors in their environment. 

There are several types of Circle of Parents groups, including those specifically for fathers, parents of children with special healthcare needs, and Spanish-speaking parents. Judge Meinster explained to us that through her work she sees the benefits of the Parents in Recovery group most often. 

The goal of her court, Judge Meinster told us, is to provide wrap-around support to families in order to reunify children with their parents or ensure children can remain in the home. Judge Meinster– and increasingly more professionals in her field– know that peer support is critical to achieving this goal. Specifically, parents need ongoing community support focused around substance use. What’s special about the Parents in Recovery groups is that not only are parents able to bond over their experiences in recovery, but they can also connect over the shared struggles of being a parent, and often of being involved in the child welfare system. That is a perspective that no one else has– and it is critical to long-term sobriety. 

“It’s not just people in recovery…it’s also parents who are involved in the child welfare system…that’s an additional bond that parents form…you can’t overstate the effectiveness of that.”

– Judge Meinster

Judge Meinster will sometimes pop into a Circle of Parents meeting to both reconnect with parents she’s had in her courtroom and see some new faces. She told us that the scene is truly inspirational: parents connecting, sharing, and supporting each other. Even the parents who have been attending group meetings for over five years are not only just supporting others but are also still talking about the struggles they currently face– the model of good recovery.  

“They trust each other and they trust Toni [the facilitator]…It really is the most successful program I’ve seen that a court has been able to refer to.”

– Judge Meinster

Caregivers come in all shapes and sizes, which is why Illuminate Colorado supports over 40 Circle of Parents groups in 12 counties across the state. To learn more about Circle of Parents, or find the group that’s best for you, visit CircleOfParentsCO.org.  

Find Your Circle Today!

Check out our interactive map to get connected with a group!

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To achieve our mission to strengthen families, organizations and communities to prevent child maltreatment, Illuminate Colorado is focused on growing Circle of Parents® in Colorado.

This national, evidence-informed model provides a friendly, supportive environment led by parents and other caregivers. Circle groups give anyone in a parenting role a place to openly discuss the successes and challenges of raising children, free from judgment. Growing Circles of Fathers around the state is particularly important to our work. We asked one father to share why his group is important to him and his family.

Read Dave’s Circle of Parents Story . . . 

One of the most beautiful gifts on this planet is to be a parent. Parenting comes with beautiful moments and also challenges. It’s the latter that we learn the most about ourselves and our kids.

As a father, it took me some time to, first, admit that I needed help and then more courage to reach out and say “I need help”. I want to share with other parents that even though this gesture sounds simple, it’s important to know I had to overcome how I was raised and my perception of what being a father meant to me to make that connection. It seems so silly now because once I asked the help came flooding, and I mean FLOODING in!

There have been several organizations and groups that have helped me over the years, but my Circle of Fathers group has been the most important to me and continues to be. I could write for some time about everything the group contributes to my life, but I want to highlight the impact it has had on my ability to support my son’s education. You see, I, like many parents, have needed to play a big part in homeschooling my son. 

As I continue to raise my son, I watch as his ability to learn grows every day. Honestly, I have no idea what his capacity is yet because it seems to be boundless. I see so many educational opportunities I can incorporate into my son’s life. One of the fathers shared online classes with me and my son loves to do them every week! It’s funny that a small mention of an activity that works at home for one parent can have such a big impact on another child’s life.

My local Circle of Fathers group is strengthening my family every time I connect, which is often. In addition to attending meetings online and in person,  checking on our Circle of Fathers Facebook Group posts are now a daily part of my life. The ideas I get from our diverse group of parents have helped me expand my fathering skills and I love it! Every post I read relating to topics my son and I are facing is so inventive, and the tips and tricks that I get from other parents are really ingenious.

I want to thank every parent who takes the time to understand what Circle of Parents means to all the parents getting support in this way. It’s inspirational and a beautiful gift that parenting is connected to countless others who love raising little ones!

I encourage other parents and caregivers to connect and find their Circle.

About the Author

About the Author

Dave is a proud father to his nine year-old son living in Colorado Springs. He has a deep understanding of what needs to happen at a community level in order to transform systems so that families get the preventative support they need, having experienced homelessness and spends his time helping other fathers make progress in their lives in order to attain greater fulfillment.

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Like all parents, I have a ton of stuff going on. I overcommit to things, I always think there is more time in the day, and when I feel the crunch of obligations begin to weigh down on me, the dictator starts to come out. I rarely give myself or my daughter any wiggle room for the inevitable unknowns that may arise in life, like an accident on the freeway when we are already running late.

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